Gaining clarity through journaling

Woke up again at 5. Somehow the morning routine has drifted though. By the time I went over to do my kriya, it was 20 past already. After that, I decided to have a hot shower, and then I was looking for a peaceful, private spot in the garden to have a reprieve to make sure I maximise my presence and make the most of the early start, productively, not just lingering around and also to be in a peaceful state, because I noticed that I was a little bit overthinking and caught myself overthinking during yoga too. As I came back in, I prepared my tea; it’s waiting next to me.

I’m thinking of carrying on with the conscious dance course, but then it feels that I’m neglecting blogging. I want to feel that I am creating value and spending my time effectively though, whatever I choose to do. I plan to keep this journal short, as apart from this dilemma, I don’t know what to write about at the moment. I will go through my previous entries and my article ideas while sipping my yerba mate, and perhaps the spark comes, which will lead to a new, valuable blog post. Otherwise, and after that in any case, I will carry on with the course.

Yesterday and the day before, I felt tired in the afternoon, but it could be because of the nature of the day job work. And if I experience fatigue again, I will look into improving nutrition rather than falling back to a later wake-up time. And this is still the habit formation phase, so I need to keep that in mind. It certainly helps with staying determined that for later in the evening, I regain a good energy so I can easily and motivatedly set my alarm to 5, and getting up doesn’t require too much effort. I am inspired overall.

I thought a lot this morning and previous days about completing a yoga teacher training in India. It would go perfectly, hand in hand with building a conscious dance/singing community. So this is the pull force. And the push force is that I often feel that with this work in my day job I don’t use my time and potential well. I could spend my time and efforts much more effectively, in joy, while actually making a positive and significant difference in other people’s lives at the same time. Regarding the money, even if I earn less, I can’t care. I don’t care and I don’t want to care. I will have as much as I need to live and carry out a good work. It’s just money anyway. The joy of profoundly making lives better and working on creating a waking community on a daily basis is my heart’s desire, and on this physical plane, I can’t imagine greater joy than that. Now I keep this in mind. And I know that being around people is a great inspiration for writing and many other things I would do. We teach and are taught by others, which is a simultaneous process often even from an individual’s perspective. After all, we are all One, and it’s wonderful to create together, realise and remember together what we are and rejoice together.